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Writings: Fiction

As the Young World Turns the Restless
(a silly soap opera recap)

December 1987

I wrote the following story in December of 1987, while in college. This is the first of two that were inspired by my roommate's tales from her soaps. She was a big fan of the CBS soaps The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful and As the World Turns. I wasn't, and still am not, although I did watch As the World Turns for a while until I couldn't take the plots anymore.

The story below is based on some of the silly plots happening during that time. The names have been changed to protect the lunatics.


Blair, troubled by the murder of Richard, her first husband whom she was trying to divorce, turned to Tom, her second husband whom she married after she lost her memory.

Meanwhile, her daughter Betty (from Blair's first marriage when she was Tina) had decided that ten was a good age to leave home. She ran off and met Jake. She decided to marry him and become a motorcycle queen.

Mrs. Duke jealous of Betty's life because she thought that Jake had loved her, decided to become an alcoholic once again. Her maid, Ellen, decided to join her.

Greg tried to stop them, but he was kidnapped by Gina, who had been desperately trying to get him to marry her. She had given birth to a baby, whom she claimed was Greg's, although he denied it. When she would go out of the house, she'd give the baby to Greg, who was bound and gagged in a chair. Gina would strap the child to Greg in a baby carrier just before she left the house. She admired Greg's tolerance for leaky diapers and constant crying. She thought he was a very patient dad.

Lisa, Richard's killer, escaped from the mental institution and went after Blair, whom she had been aiming for when she had killed Richard, but Richard had gotten in the way. She got to Blair's house and entered the room to find Blair and Tom together. Lisa blindly fired her gun. This time Tom was killed, despite the fact that he was several feet from Blair. Shocked at the loss of another husband, Blair purposely ran into a wall, developing amnesia once again, while Lisa, fed up with missing, killed herself.

Blair wound up meeting Terence and fell in love with him resulting in giving him a social disease. Terenced died a few days later. Fed up with this plot, Blair packed up and moved to PITTSBURGH.

Bobbie, who was supposed to get a divorce from Terence, decided that she will let nothing come between her marriage to him. So she dug up his grave and brought him home. Bedtime was a happy time for Bobbie.

Meanwhile, the writer for this inane soap had been shot only moments ago, and the whole cast was seen leaving his office, carrying a gun. The police have decided not to bother with the investigation, because the dead man was a lousy writer anyway.

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